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THE BATTY CHRONICLES

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Wednesday, January 24, 2007. June 26, 1883. Oh, Diary, I am so sorry that my tears are on your pages! To-day was the last day of school, and I have received my report-card. My grades were all well, and I. My studies. I did receive an A in Composition, an A in Mathematics, a B in Fear of the Almighty Lord and an A in Sciences. I also did most well in the behaviors:. Not At All Smiling: B. Oh, faint again.

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THE BATTY CHRONICLES | erikseims.blogspot.com Reviews

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Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Wednesday, January 24, 2007. June 26, 1883. Oh, Diary, I am so sorry that my tears are on your pages! To-day was the last day of school, and I have received my report-card. My grades were all well, and I. My studies. I did receive an A in Composition, an A in Mathematics, a B in Fear of the Almighty Lord and an A in Sciences. I also did most well in the behaviors:. Not At All Smiling: B. Oh, faint again.

<META> KEYWORDS

1 the batty chronicles

2 dearest diary

3 illegible

4 penmanship a

5 posture a

6 neatness a

7 manners a

8 punctuality a

9 hyphenation

10 i am faint

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THE BATTY CHRONICLES | erikseims.blogspot.com Reviews

https://erikseims.blogspot.com

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Wednesday, January 24, 2007. June 26, 1883. Oh, Diary, I am so sorry that my tears are on your pages! To-day was the last day of school, and I have received my report-card. My grades were all well, and I. My studies. I did receive an A in Composition, an A in Mathematics, a B in Fear of the Almighty Lord and an A in Sciences. I also did most well in the behaviors:. Not At All Smiling: B. Oh, faint again.

INTERNAL PAGES

erikseims.blogspot.com

1

THE BATTY CHRONICLES: August 2006

http://erikseims.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Wednesday, August 30, 2006. May 8, 1881. Today I am confused and sad and happy all at once! My Topsy is gone! What am I to do, diary? But I have a new friend too! And did a dance Father says is called a quadrille and then they rubbed their moustaches together and then i wanted to go home. Diary, I was so cross! I was still low. But some hours later, Father did return with a new pet! I can now play with him ...

2

THE BATTY CHRONICLES: December 2006

http://erikseims.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Monday, December 04, 2006. Page 1, The New York Tribune, May 17, 1883. THE NEW YORK HARBOR IS FULL! Ships from Near And Far Jam Upper Bay, East and Hudson Rivers; Bring Commerce to A Halt. Food Cannot Get Through - Portly Rich Man's Neck Wattle Shrinking Mightily. Mysterious Tele-Graph Message Regarding "Missy-Bloomers" Summons All Vessels Here - Trinity Church Besieged by Imbibing Sailors. Trinity Church r...

3

THE BATTY CHRONICLES: April 30, 1883

http://erikseims.blogspot.com/2006/11/april-30-1883.html

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Thursday, November 23, 2006. April 30, 1883. Oh, Diary, there is so much afoot! I do not know where to begin, so I fear this entry shall go all twiddly-twoddly. I shall number my thoughts then, so as not to alarm you. 1 Yester-day William reached the age of 4! It was quite the day. Mother and Father took him and myself to the Barnum and Bailey Circus at the Madison-Square Garden! Oh, what gay folly! When ti...

4

THE BATTY CHRONICLES: May 26, 1883

http://erikseims.blogspot.com/2007/01/may-26-1883.html

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Tuesday, January 09, 2007. May 26, 1883. Oh, Diary, I shall remember these last two days for all the rest of my life! Yet the day was not lost, for Mother and Father had bought tickets for a special viewing of the fire-works atop the roof of the Madison-Square Garden! Oh, Diary, I do wish you were there! It was the grandest, greatest fire-works anyone had ever seen! He told us all about the ceremonies on th...

5

THE BATTY CHRONICLES: Franklin Edson -- April 6, 1883

http://erikseims.blogspot.com/2006/11/franklin-edson-april-6-1883.html

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Sunday, November 19, 2006. Franklin Edson - April 6, 1883. His Honor, Franklin Edson. Mayor, the City of New York. City Hall, New York. April 6, 1883. Hullo, Mr. Mayor! In the middle of our studies. Rose in the fifth row has a fear of bats, and has not come out from under her desk since February. Yesterday we went to Castle Garden and saw the immigrants! Have you received my tele-graph messages? I do know t...

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americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: The Bilge Show begins...

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2009/03/bilge-show-begins.html

Wednesday, March 25, 2009. The Bilge Show begins. Citizens, I heed you to watch the first two episodes of The Bilge Show, featuring me and the wife-bot cracking ribald jokes at the expense of popular culture luminaries. Joins the fun and zip off an e-mail to thebilgeshow@gmail.com with any and all thoughts, so long as they're complimentary. Posted by Bill Scurry. At 3/25/2009 06:04:00 PM. Subscribe to: Comment Feed (RSS). New York, New York, United States. View my complete profile. Shoot one off to me.

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: I look like a housecat

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-look-like-housecat.html

Monday, June 23, 2008. I look like a housecat. Really, it's true. I had to go back to real life today after nine day at the Long Island barrier beach of Fire Island, and I disabused the razor while away. It's an experiment, because I have the follicular growth of an 11-year-old. I always hope that my face will look like Burt Reynolds's chest given a few days to accumulate growth, but the reality hews closer to this:. Barring that illusion, what advantage is there to having teh growth? Am I more masculine?

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: Coming to you live!

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008/03/coming-to-you-live.html

Wednesday, March 12, 2008. Coming to you live! Hello everybody, I'm Pat O'Brien, and I'm coming to you live from underneath one thousand tons of steaming, twisted metaphor! We got some great stuff for you today, including the story of a high-profile politico that ends in the only manner we're comfortable with - sexual disgrace knocking him off one of the highest perches in the land! A body she has, eh, Nancy O'Dell? My co-host, Nancy - where is she? We in the media love to fill our distended bellies with...

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: April 2008

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

Sunday, April 27, 2008. Welcome to tonight's news broadcast. I'm Steve Rolston. And now, getting right into our top story: Have the American people made a horrible mistake in electing President Elasmobranch the Unyielding? At least, that's what a lot of people in the area are asking tonight after the new chief executive's inauguration was marred by the tragic death of, well, everyone who attended, at the hands of Elasmobranch himself. That was Luthor Edmiston reporting live, from the capital. Now, pe...

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: Puding

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2006/06/puding.html

Sunday, June 11, 2006. A gift from the warm and generous Seims. At my party last night - some substance called "Dr. Oetker's Puding.". It appears to be a confection that resembles pudding - but as we know, this is actually puding. Which I believe is pronounced "poo-ding.". And if one were to go by the little flag in the top-right corner, this confection has a tendency to "muz aromali." Applying a layman's translation, I can only assumes that means it "smells like muz.". Formulated by a medical doctor?

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: December 2007

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html

Thursday, December 06, 2007. The assailant left only this one clue:. And a note that he'd be back in a little over a week with the remains of the titular commentator of this space. More as we get it in to the newsroom. Posted by Bill Scurry. At 12/06/2007 10:07:00 PM. Wednesday, December 05, 2007. The newest shit around. I've always loved "We Are the World":. God Hates the World. Watch more free videos. Posted by Bill Scurry. At 12/05/2007 04:20:00 PM. Westboro Baptist Churchm hate. Shoot one off to me.

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: Astronaut Clown

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008/01/astronaut-clown.html

Tuesday, January 29, 2008. Between the inky depths of deep space and the outermost bounds of human achievement, you'll find Astronaut Clown! Astronaut Clown has been working relentlessly for the past seven months, training in the underwater tank and spinning in the endurance centrifuge to build his body up to withstand the rigors of the final unexplored frontier - transatmospheric travel! I'm almost ready - no, the world. As the Romans would say, ecce dessert. Oscar-nominated actor David Strathairn.

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: Ruining your life

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2006/06/ruining-your-life.html

Thursday, June 29, 2006. Let the flip-flop backlash. Yes, the loathesome thong portrays a sloppy, asinine image, as the referenced A.P. story offers, and signals an over-relaxed outlook on life by the wearer. Posted by Bill Scurry. At 6/29/2006 09:13:00 PM. Subscribe to: Comment Feed (RSS). New York, New York, United States. The fun police have had their way with me in the station house bathroom. Charges will follow. View my complete profile. Shoot one off to me. I breathlessly await human contact. But f...

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: January 2008

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html

Tuesday, January 29, 2008. Between the inky depths of deep space and the outermost bounds of human achievement, you'll find Astronaut Clown! Astronaut Clown has been working relentlessly for the past seven months, training in the underwater tank and spinning in the endurance centrifuge to build his body up to withstand the rigors of the final unexplored frontier - transatmospheric travel! I'm almost ready - no, the world. As the Romans would say, ecce dessert. Oscar-nominated actor David Strathairn.

americancaesar.blogspot.com

AmericanCaesar Salad: Dulcet tones

http://americancaesar.blogspot.com/2008/01/dulcet-tones.html

Sunday, January 27, 2008. In honor of "Rambo", opening this weekend. Posted by Bill Scurry. At 1/27/2008 09:37:00 PM. Subscribe to: Comment Feed (RSS). New York, New York, United States. The fun police have had their way with me in the station house bathroom. Charges will follow. View my complete profile. Shoot one off to me. I breathlessly await human contact. Follow me on Twitter. This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from americancaesar. Make your own badge here. RSS this bitch up.

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erikseims.blogspot.com

THE BATTY CHRONICLES

Excerpts from the Papers and Correspondence of the Late Madam Harriet Batty. Edited by Erik Seims. Wednesday, January 24, 2007. June 26, 1883. Oh, Diary, I am so sorry that my tears are on your pages! To-day was the last day of school, and I have received my report-card. My grades were all well, and I. My studies. I did receive an A in Composition, an A in Mathematics, a B in Fear of the Almighty Lord and an A in Sciences. I also did most well in the behaviors:. Not At All Smiling: B. Oh, faint again.

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