traceyh415.blogspot.com
traceyh415: September 2014
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Monday, September 29, 2014. An Interview with me about my writing. Http:/ ruthjacobs.co.uk/2014/09/29/tracey-helton-writer-interview/. Friday, September 26, 2014. Guest post SF Bay Area. CHAPTER: "Push Down and Turn". And then I heard it. Im thinking his ass got arrested again .he was always into something and it was pretty common. Thats when the clock stopped, the atmosphere around me went completely silent.all I heard was. In the morning with "i got those".
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traceyh415: Erotic City
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2015/07/erotic-city.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Friday, July 24, 2015. E verytime I comb my hair,. Thoughts of u get in my eyes" she screams as she pull on her wig. She bounces as she flips her head back with Farrah Fawcet perfection. ". U're a sinner, I don't care. I just want your creamy thighs.". She grabs my hand. THIS," she tells me "THIS is my fucking jam girl.". Why is it that people that can't sing always sing the loudest? Ms Thing is full, I tell myself. Have you lost your fucking mind? She kisses...
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traceyh415: August 2015
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2015_08_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Monday, August 31, 2015. There have been a few major loves in my life. My husband. My children, of course. And heroin. Why did you do it? It is hard to answer that question. I started out this world as an innocent wide eyed girl. I had a question for everything. I had a great sense of curiosity. Why was the sky blue? Why doesn't the water stay warm? Why is it that the birds all leave when the snow comes. I wanted to know a little bit of everything. Was it jus...
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traceyh415: November 2014
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2014_11_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Saturday, November 29, 2014. Your hands are cold " she tells me. THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS COLD OUTSIDE. I yell in my mind. Look" I tell her "Just hold still.". I give up. I smile at her to let her know this fucked up situation is okay as she turns her head with dry heaves. She said she was sick. She wasn't lying. I am taking off your shoe" I tell her. The only warm place left on her is her foot. We have been out here far too long. Do I save her then fix? Now, I t...
traceyh415.blogspot.com
traceyh415: "Will You Please Bring Me The Nudes?"
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2015/07/will-you-please-bring-me-nudes.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Monday, July 13, 2015. Will You Please Bring Me The Nudes? I pass her the 40 oz. I see feel that warm carbonation stuck halfway between my throat and my nose. It is as if my body is involuntarily refusing to have this swill enter my stomach cavity. Between the bean burritos from Taco Bell and this Old English, my digestive system WILL find a way to expel these toxic substances. Why don't you want to come work with us? Thank God for that! The only time I need ...
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traceyh415: June 2015
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Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Saturday, June 27, 2015. Nothing to see here. What are you going to do about that thing? I pull up my shorts. "I am going to drain it." I tell him. He gives me a look of feigned disgust. This isn't his first time at the junkie rodeo. "Right here? I start looking for a good spot to poke. "yes," I tell him "right here.". No Is there speed? No Is there benzos? No Is there tv? No Is there food? How many more days can I live like this? Are you suffering today?
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traceyh415: When All the Tears Are On The Inside
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2015/08/when-all-tears-are-on-inside.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Thursday, August 6, 2015. When All the Tears Are On The Inside. The waves of depression roll over me. They cover my body like the tide, they are synced to the many cycles of my moons. The depression goes and and out of my lungs. It feels like my breathing. It is as shallow as my desires. I haven't washed these blankets in six months? Some people will ask what happened to me. WHAT happened to your little girl Bob? August 17, 2015 at 2:15 PM. Nourishing a New Me.
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traceyh415: October 2014
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Thursday, October 30, 2014. The room is completely dark with the exception of the red ember illuminating a sweaty face. I don't have my glasses on so it is impossible to see much farther than my nose. I had gone to "sleep" a few hours or a few days ago. It is hard to tell. Have you every had that feeling when you wake up and you are not sure exactly where you are or what the fuck happened? FUCK The alarm goes off again. Saturday, October 25, 2014. She pours t...
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traceyh415: December 2014
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2014_12_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Sunday, December 28, 2014. Big Titty Kitty and other family Tales. Aren't you done in there? He screams from the bedroom. The woman in black and her daughter were sex workers of opportunity. Dealing, stealing, anything else to make money would come first. But on cold nights and sleepy mornings, desperation would drive one or other into crimes of opportunity. I can get it for you." She smiled "no problem.". What could I say at this point? Seriously, fuck this ...
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traceyh415: February 2015
http://traceyh415.blogspot.com/2015_02_01_archive.html
Stories of parenting, insanity and addiction. Thursday, February 26, 2015. The Last Day I Ever Used. When I say "the last day I ever used", I want to make it perfectly clear to readers. I am done using drugs. It was not easy but it was worth it. February 26, 1998. It was the day that changed everything. Then it's "I don't smoke crack really but can you get me some? Saturday, February 21, 2015. Blood I'm covered in blood. Where did all this blood come from? How many klonopin did I take? On the floor, I se...