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The Comedy News

The Comedy News is your satirical source for today's news. Daily news jokes, satire news articles, and topical humor.

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The Comedy News | thecomedynews.com Reviews
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The Comedy News is your satirical source for today's news. Daily news jokes, satire news articles, and topical humor.
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The Comedy News | thecomedynews.com Reviews

https://thecomedynews.com

The Comedy News is your satirical source for today's news. Daily news jokes, satire news articles, and topical humor.

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1

The Comedy News: Al Qaeda Installs New Monkey Bars at Their Headquarters

http://www.thecomedynews.com/2014/02/al-qaeda-installs-new-monkey-bars-at.html

February 16, 2014. Al Qaeda Installs New Monkey Bars at Their Headquarters. BIN LADEN MEMORIAL TRAINING CENTER (@TheComedyNews) - After nearly 20 years of use in training the world's most vile would-be terrorists, the old monkey bars course at the Al Qaeda training center are finally being replaced. For the past decade, a referendum on upgrading the monkey bars and the rest of the terror school obstacle course has not reached the required majority from Al Qaeda members at their annual convention,. As of ...

2

The Comedy News: Obama Quotes Eminem from "8 Mile" in Debate 2 with Romney

http://www.thecomedynews.com/2012/10/obama-quotes-eminiem-from-8-mile-in.html

October 17, 2012. Obama Quotes Eminem from "8 Mile" in Debate 2 with Romney. HEMPSTEAD, NY ( @The Comedy News. At Tuesday night's debate at Hofstra University, President Obama channeled the lyrics of rap star Eminiem to scrutinize his opponent Mitt Romney's ability to relate to average Americans. Following an admission that the economy still needs work and that he himself is not perfect, Obama directed a lyrical jab at Romney:. The lyric comes from the 2002 film, 8 Mile. Written by The Comedy News. Wisco...

3

The Comedy News: Shavuot Gathering Marred by Outbreak of Lactose Intolerance

http://www.thecomedynews.com/2013/05/shavuot-gathering-marred-by-outbreak-of.html

May 14, 2013. Shavuot Gathering Marred by Outbreak of Lactose Intolerance. BERKELEY, CA - ( Facebook: The Comedy News. A Shavuot celebration hosted by Julia Yalda, turned sour as it was slowly revealed throughout the evening that every one of the ten guests were lactose intolerant. Before we sit down and talk Torah, I want everyone to take a bite out of this cherry amaretto cheese cake I made! Julia's ex-boyfriend Claude, making his first return to Julia's apartment since he dumped her following a night ...

4

The Comedy News: Who Will Be Waiting In Line to Get the New iPhone on Release Day?

http://www.thecomedynews.com/2013/09/who-will-be-waiting-in-line-to-get-new.html

September 18, 2013. Who Will Be Waiting In Line to Get the New iPhone on Release Day? On Friday, September 20, Apple will be releasing an unprecedented two new iPhones- - the iPhone 5S and the iPhone 5C. With pre-orders limited to only the 5C, experts predict massive lines outside Apple retail stores- -with some lunatic Apple fans who have already been in line for weeks. At the same time, many Apple stalwarts will be refraining from waiting in line for the smartphone. With a fingerprint-scanner to unlock...

5

The Comedy News: (Op/Ed) OJ Simpson: "I May Be Civilly Liable for Two Murders, but I NEVER Took Steroids"

http://www.thecomedynews.com/2013/08/oped-oj-simpson-may-be-civilly-liable.html

August 28, 2013. Op/Ed) OJ Simpson: I May Be Civilly Liable for Two Murders, but I NEVER Took Steroids. LOVELOCK CORRECTION CENTER - NEVADA - (@The Comedy News) - As a former National Football League star and actor, I am thoroughly disgusted at the rampant steroid abuse amongst today's professional athletes. First, to clear the air: Yes, I may be civilly liable for two grisly murders. But that was almost two decades ago. In all of my 60-plus years on this Earth, I never took steroids. Further, murder is ...

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brianfishbach.com brianfishbach.com

Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley Performs Live for the First Time Since Nearly Dying | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/2014/11/21/sum-41-deryck-whibley-returns-to-stage

The Latest from Brian. November 21, 2014. Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley Performs Live for the First Time Since Nearly Dying. He didn’t storm into the party like [his] name was El Niño. That was 2001 (with his MTV smash hit, Fat Lip ). This is thirteen years later. Meet Deryck Whibley the lead singer and guitarist from Canadian punk-rock quartet Sum 41. To the casual observer, Whibley’s return to the stage looked like a quick cameo by a five-foot four-inch bleach-blond guitarist in a cover band. Fronted by H20 ...

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Late Night Jokes for February 16, 2015 | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/2015/02/16/late-night-jokes-for-february-16-2015

The Latest from Brian. February 16, 2015. Late Night Jokes for February 16, 2015. An owl that has been stealing people’s hats off their heads in the state of Oregon has been named Owl Capone. There’s another owl roaming the same area they named Owl Pacino. It’s been saying “hooahh”:. Saturday Night Live celebrated its 40th anniversary on Sunday night. Technically, it was only the 30th anniversary, because who really has been watching the last 10 years? Fifty Sades of Grey took in more than $80 million on...

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Bio | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/bio

The Latest from Brian. BRIAN FISHBACH is a music journalist based in Los Angeles, California. Brian grew up in Wisconsin. He graduated the University of Wisconsin-Madison where he received a BA in Political Science, and also wrote and performed in original musical theater. Brian is currently studying journalism at UCLA specializing in interviewing musicians and writing their stories. You can find his stories about rockstars at www.BrianFishbach.com. Brian’s satire news articles can be found at. Red Hot C...

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Music | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/portfolio/music

The Latest from Brian. Brian’s guitar escapades began in the late 1980s when he saw Michael J. Fox rock out in. Back to the Future. Although Brian has performed in bands of his own since 2001, he always wanted to play guitar for his. Bands So over the years, Brian asked his favorite rock stars before concerts if he would be able to play guitar on stage that night. At the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC, in front of a crowd of 1,200 rabid fans, Brian was invited by Canadian punk rockers SUM 41. Red Hot Chili ...

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LostMovieScenes.com | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/portfolio/lostmoviescenes-com

The Latest from Brian. Launched in the fall of 2012,. Is a screenwriting publication edited by Brian that takes fan fiction to absurdly hilarious levels. The screenwriters watch popular films and then ask themselves….”What if…”. What if the dinosaurs in. What if we found out how Marty McFly met Doc Brown in. Back to the Future. What if the role of Jack Dawson in. Was written for David Schwimmer? Visit Lost Movie Scenes.com. To see how the scenes play out! The Burden of Swapping Musical Partners. Socks at...

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Portfolio | Brian Fishbach

https://brianfishbach.com/portfolio

The Latest from Brian. Live Review: Rage Against the Machine Members Joined By Chuck D and B-Real for “Prophets of Rage” Show in L.A. Guns N’ Roses Got Back Together ‘In This Lifetime’. Pennywise Packs Hollywood Palladium for Three-Straight Nights of Full Album Setlists. The Burden of Swapping Musical Partners. Red Hot Chili Peppers Rock Out at Fundraiser for Bernie Sanders. It Is Never Too Early to Change the Early Presidential Primaries. The Master of Reuniting 1990s Teen Film Casts.

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The Latest from Brian | Brian Fishbach | Music Journalist

https://brianfishbach.com/news

The Latest from Brian. June 1, 2016. Live Review: Rage Against the Machine Members Joined By Chuck D and B-Real for “Prophets of Rage” Show in L.A. WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA This year’s messy, divisive presidential election has a silver lining: Rage Against the Machine has reunited sort of. At 7:05 AM on the Tuesday after Memorial Day, RATM’s Tom Morello. Were joined by Chuck D. Together, the supergroup announced that they would be performing a surprise inaugural. Photo by Brian Fishbach. Was absent. But Ch...

lostmoviescenes.com lostmoviescenes.com

HOME ALONE: “The Wet Bandits Capture Kevin” | Lost Movie Scenes

https://lostmoviescenes.com/2013/01/01/home-alone-the-wet-bandits-capture-kevin

HOME ALONE: “The Wet Bandits Capture Kevin”. Posted by Brian Fishbach. January 1, 2013. It’s Christmas Eve in suburban Chicago. Ten-year-old Kevin McCallister’s entire family is without him in Paris. Yes, Kevin is home alone— but not for long. He has caught wind of a pair of burglars who plan on ransacking Kevin’s home that night. Buzz: “Bonjour.”. Marv: “Is this the McCallisters? Buzz: “Yeah what the hell do ya want? Marv: “You’re bluffing.”. Buzz: “Put Kevin on the phone.”. Buzz: “Good, I hope th...

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Subscribe via Facebook | Lost Movie Scenes

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Please be sure to LIKE the Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thecomedynews. Lost Movie Scenes is a division of. The Comedy News,. A satire news website also written by Brian Fishbach. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Enter your comment here. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:. Address never made public). You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out. You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out. You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out.

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February 16, 2014. Al Qaeda Installs New Monkey Bars at Their Headquarters. BIN LADEN MEMORIAL TRAINING CENTER (@TheComedyNews) - After nearly 20 years of use in training the world's most vile would-be terrorists, the old monkey bars course at the Al Qaeda training center are finally being replaced. For the past decade, a referendum on upgrading the monkey bars and the rest of the terror school obstacle course has not reached the required majority from Al Qaeda members at their annual convention,. As of ...

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Yes, we know it's spelled wrong - we are not into grammar, we are into making you LAFF! We are a group of professional, experienced comedians who can bring the LAFFTER to your:. School / Assisted Living Center. Contact us for details on how to bring a professional, hilarious Comedy show to your doorstep. Thursday, August 13, 2015. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). A 10 year comedy veteran and. Eddie "I Have Issues" Faicco. A 15 year comedy veteran. Laughs at the Library. Smithtown Library 2 pm.

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